May this world be kind to you - as it has been to me, with you, though I couldn’t hold on tightly enough. The memories you have left with me are enough material to write a story or two. I will keep writing still this will be my only way of defying fate. If this is fate’s demand, that you should not be mine, then this is the last of me that the world will see, of the hold which you have on my being put down in words. And if they do, would you reach out too? I pray! I prayed that wherever you are in the world, the lanterns would find you so you’d know, I’m reaching out. I sat by the fireplace and watched them disappear into the sky and I prayed to God that I would find you again. Yours always flew higher than mine inexplicably. As always, I lit two, one for you, one for me. I went down by the lake and lit the lanterns. A hope I’ve kept for far too long, hope that had slowly turned into desperation. Yesterday was my birthday, I was hoping that you’d call. You were the soul I was the body now I am empty, lifeless, hollow. You need to see me to understand what these years have been like without you. Not a second has gone by without me regretting every word that left my lips that day. This pain has become a melody for my days.ĭid you ever find enough time or space? That was what you said you needed some time, some space. I have known no rest since the moment you walked away. Call my name that way that only you know how do that dance that only I ever got to see. Just one last laugh, I beg of you, let me hear it once more. My nights are filled with ceaseless longings my pillows have grown heavy with tears that couldn’t let me sleep. Lift me from this darkness into the light of day I am still holding on to us. I mean, the sun still shines, but its warmth cannot reach beneath my skin and thaw away this agony which is slowly freezing away my heart one broken piece at a time. My days are cold without you here by my side.
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